Brian's Choice Read online

  Now it was October, and Brian finally admitted to himself that he was looking forward to church for several reasons—and one was that he was going to see Katie.

  Six hours later, the church service was over and lunch was finished. Brian wasn’t one to overeat, but sometimes it was difficult to say no to the homemade casseroles and desserts spread across the makeshift tables. The service had been held at the bishop’s home this morning, and the luncheon took place in the barn due to the rain. Now the barn doors had been thrown open, and sunshine struggled to peek through clouds that were quickly scattering.

  “I suppose I’ll never grow tired of the sound of rain on a barn roof.”

  Brian turned and smiled at Katie. He felt as if he knew her better than anyone in the room, and when she was standing next to him, his world achieved a balance that was otherwise missing.

  “It’s a good sound,” he agreed.

  “The only thing better is walking through wet leaves.”

  “Is that so? I would have thought you might be too refined for that.”

  Katie raised an eyebrow but didn’t respond.

  “A walk it is, then. Do you need a shawl?”

  “Nein. The cool air feels nice.”

  As they walked out into the midday sun, Brian resisted the urge to reach for her hand. Was he ready to start courting? He let that thought rattle around in his head—and his heart—and found that the fear that normally accompanied such an idea was completely gone.

  “When I was young, I asked my mother why the leaves changed colors.” She purposely walked through the large pile of scattered leaves to the side of the lane. “Mamm told me that perhaps God had angels who colored our world, staining the leaves to resemble lemons, tangerines, and apples. Then another angel would come along, and when he’d see the colors he would begin to sing—and the breath from his song knocked the leaves to the ground.”

  “Your mother could be a writer.”

  “Nein. She was…no, she is…a quilter. She works the loveliest colors into her creations—they’re quite unusual compared to most. But she also enjoys telling us stories, challenging us to think of things from a heavenly perspective, even if it was with a silly explanation about falling leaves.”

  They walked in silence until they reached Bishop Levi’s tire swing. Normally it would be surrounded by children, but the youngsters had begun a game of hide-and-seek in the loft of the barn and were still playing it.

  “Would you like me to push you in the swing?”

  Katie studied him a moment, and then her smile widened and she wiggled onto the tire.

  She glanced back at him, waiting. Brian’s arms were on the rope of the swing, but he seemed transfixed.

  He looked down at her, his heart thudding with long forgotten emotions and said, “When you look at me like that, the blue in your eyes reminds me of the Pacific Ocean.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Yes, it is.” He pushed her gently at first, and then harder, causing her to squeal and clutch the rope.

  The moment seemed to freeze and catch in Brian’s mind—Katie swinging, her head back, laughter in her eyes and a smile on her lips. For a moment it seemed as if they were the only two people in the world.

  Then the dreamlike moment was broken, and they were surrounded by children. Katie hopped off the swing, and Brian helped Edna onto the tire. The older girls began pushing the swing, and the younger ones waited in line, scuffling their feet through the wet leaves.

  “It looks as if we’re being run off,” Katie said with a smile as she dusted the back of her dress with her hands.

  “If we’re quick about it, we can escape before we’re drawn into a game of baseball.” He nodded toward the barn, where the older children were streaming out. John and Curtis were leading the pack.

  “We haven’t had any more trouble out of those two. That worries me. I’d rather know what they’re up to.”

  “What?” Now he did snag her hand and lace his fingers with hers. “You don’t believe my extra assignment permanently changed their behavior?”

  “Perhaps. Or it’s possible they’re waiting for us to let our guard down.” Katie didn’t meet his gaze, but neither did she pull her hand away.

  They had reached the pasture fence bordering Levi’s fields. Grazing there were six tan Percheron workhorses and another three charcoal-colored mares. Brian squeezed Katie’s hand, and then he let go and walked over to pet the mare that was lifting her head over the top rail so she could greet them and nose their hands for treats.

  “I’ve enjoyed meeting with the boys. They not only read the book, but they seemed genuinely interested in it.”

  “Who wouldn’t be? It’s a fascinating story.” Katie crossed her arms on the fence and rested her head on her forearms. “I was so nervous when Scout fell over while wearing her Halloween costume, afraid of what would happen to her.”

  “And you thought Boo Radley was a terrible person?”

  “I suppose I did, but the book leads you in that direction. It sets up your expectations and then tears them back down again.”

  “Much as life does.”

  Now she studied him. When he began to squirm, she asked, “Do you ever miss your old life, Brian?”

  “No. I don’t. This life—” He waved at the pasture, the horses, and the countryside beyond. “I believe it’s the life I was meant to live. I only wish the road that led me here had been a smoother one.”

  “Gotte’s wille,” she murmured.

  “I suppose it was, though it would be simpler to say it was my mistakes—my sins—that led me here. That’s what I would have said a year ago. Now?” He patted the horse one last time, and then he reached again for her hand, studying her fingers and running his thumb over the inside of her palm. “Now I’m beginning to believe that God would have found a way to bring me here even if I hadn’t made those mistakes.”

  NINE

  Katie looked at the pile of papers that needed grading.

  She never would have thought that first through fourth graders would write so much. Next year, she would modify the assignment to specify a maximum of one to two pages. She caught herself midthought—modify the assignment next year? Did she actually think she’d still be a teacher’s helper then? If so, it would be the first time she’d held a job longer than a few months.

  “You look as if you’ve lost something,” Brian said.

  “Nein. Only my mind is wandering.”

  “Well, it’s been a long day. One child vomiting—”

  “I felt terrible about your shoes.”

  “They cleaned up well enough.” Brian grinned at her. “Though I’ll admit I never had anyone puke on me when I was teaching college.”

  “Then there was Jonas’s tears.”

  “He does well, considering his disabilities. Perhaps we need to meet with him tomorrow and make sure we’re not pushing too hard.”

  “Ya. That’s a gut idea.” Katie pushed a lock of hair back into her kapp. In truth, she felt as if she’d withstood a storm. Some days teaching was an exhausting profession.

  Brian stuffed a stack of papers into the backpack he carried to school each day. “I suggest we both take a break before we try any grading.”

  “Ya. I’d probably make better progress after dinner.”

  “Speaking of dinner—” Brian stopped midsentence as Stella Stutzman walked back into the room. “Did you need something, Stella?”

  She glanced at Katie and then turned her attention to Brian. “It’s the math homework you gave us. I’m having some difficulty with one of the problems.”

  “Why don’t you show me which one is giving you trouble?” He set his backpack down and glanced over at Katie. “You may as well go. This will take a few minutes.”

  Katie nodded. Most days they left together, but she would probably fall asleep if she had to wait. All she could think of was getting back to her sister’s and putting her feet up for a few minutes.

  As she walked out of
the schoolroom, she glanced back. Stella was pulling her math papers from her bag and smiling up at Brian. Did he have any idea how severe the girl’s crush was?

  Katie felt something stir in her chest—not jealousy. She had admitted to herself, and to JoAnna, that she had feelings for Brian. No, she wasn’t worried that a young girl like Stella would win his affections. Brian was a man, not a child. But something about the situation bothered her. She had a brief flash of impending doom that she quickly brushed away.

  A hot cup of tea and fifteen minutes resting would improve her outlook. At least that was what she told herself as she made her way out of the schoolhouse and walked toward home.

  Stella’s younger brother Stephen Stutzman stood on the front porch of JoAnna’s house, twirling his hat in his hands. Katie and the Lapp family had already had dinner, and darkness had fallen hours before. When the insistent knock had sounded, Jesse had set aside the Budget to walk across the room without a word. After he’d opened the door, he’d turned to Katie and said, “One of your students.”

  “My student?” Katie set aside the stack of papers she’d nearly finished grading and hurried toward the front door.

  JoAnna continued rocking baby Noah. All of the other children were already in bed.

  Katie reached the door and saw that Stephen was waiting and obviously upset. “What’s wrong, Stephen?”

  The boy glanced nervously left and right.

  “You’d best come inside.”

  He only took a few steps into the room, still twirling the hat and looking completely lost. “We can’t find Stella. Mamm sent me here to see if maybe she’d come home with you after school.”

  “Nein. She didn’t.” Katie motioned to a chair and then she perched on the edge of the couch. “Maybe she went home with a friend?”

  “We’ve already been to Paige’s and Suzanne’s. They’re the only other girls in her grade.”

  JoAnna switched the baby to her other shoulder. “Perhaps she’s out with a boy.”

  “We thought of that too, but none of the boys have seen her.”

  Jesse leaned forward. “Maybe at a cousin’s? Your grandparents’? An aunt or uncle’s?”

  Stephen shook his head with each question.

  “Have you told the bishop?” Jesse asked.

  “Ya. He’s the one who suggested we check with you…and Brian.”

  “The last I saw of Stella, she’d come back into the schoolroom.” Katie stared out the window at the darkness.

  “After school?” JoAnna asked.

  “Ya. She needed help with a math problem. Brian was taking care of it, and I decided to come on home.”

  “I’m sure she’ll show up. It’s just some misunderstanding.” JoAnna stood and placed the baby in the cradle.

  “Did the bishop have any other message?” Jesse asked.

  “Ya. He said we might need help…you know. To look for her.” Stephen suddenly looked incredibly young as he struggled not to cry, wiping at his eyes and placing his hat back on his head.

  “I’ll hitch up the buggy. Did you walk?”

  Stephen nodded.

  “Then I’ll give you a ride back home.” Jesse stopped and placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Try not to worry. We’ll find her. I’m sure nothing bad has happened to your schweschder.”

  But how could he be sure of that?

  Katie didn’t read the Englisch newspapers, but she couldn’t help hearing the occasional story when she was in town. No kidnappings or abductions had happened in their area before, but that didn’t mean anything. The world was changing, wasn’t it? It seemed to be becoming more dangerous by the minute.

  Her mind flashed back over Harper Lee’s book. She thought of Scout walking alone, afraid, on an October night. It was more as if she’d seen it than she’d read it. She could almost feel Scout’s fear when she fell over and couldn’t stand up. But that was only a story. This was real. This was one of her students.

  Katie realized with a start that Jesse and Stephen had left the house. JoAnna walked over to her and placed a hand on each of her shoulders, waiting until her sister looked up into her eyes.

  “Let’s pray, Katie. We’ll pray, and then we’ll brew a pot of coffee.”

  TEN

  Brian immediately donned his hat and jacket and joined the search for Stella. He met a group of men at the school, and they fanned out with lanterns and flashlights.

  The local police department was not yet willing to declare the girl missing because she’d been seen earlier in the day, but as the clock crept toward midnight, Brian had a premonition this situation was not going to end well.

  They had split into three groups. The first had gone to Stella’s house, the second to town, and the third to the schoolhouse. Their hope—their fervent prayer—was that she had perhaps fallen and twisted an ankle. She’d definitely been on foot as both of the Stutzmans’ buggies were at home.

  There were eight men in Brian’s group, ranging in age from older teens to grandpas.

  “You know the school area best, Brian.” Samuel Schwartz looked to be in his late forties or early fifties. He was more than six feet tall, obviously strong, and had no hair on his head. His expression was always serious, and tonight he seemed doubly so. Though he had no children of his own, he’d lived in the community a long time. “How do you think we should search?”

  “I suggest we take it by quadrants,” Brian said. “Two head north, two south, two west, and then I’ll go east with someone.”

  “I’ll search with you,” Joseph said. The other men quickly paired up.

  “Let’s meet back here in an hour.”

  But that hour of diligent searching revealed nothing. They met back at the schoolhouse at the appointed time, and as each pair trudged in it was plain they had found no trace of Stella. No one wanted to go home. They received word from John Yoder, who was delivering messages between groups, that the other two search parties had also found nothing.

  The men sat in the classroom, drinking the coffee the bishop’s wife had sent and taking a brief break.

  Brian looked over at Joseph, who was sitting beside him. “I feel terrible about this.”

  “Not your fault.”

  “I still feel terrible. I may have been the last person to see her. Doesn’t that make me responsible?”

  “I don’t think so. Teens Stella’s age have a mind of their own. We can’t control their steps anymore than we can control the path of a storm.”

  Brian smiled for the first time since the bishop had knocked on his door earlier that evening. “Are you comparing teenagers to storms, Joseph?”

  The other man ran his fingers through his beard and then smiled slightly. “Ya, maybe I am.” He stood, stretched, and then clapped Brian on the shoulder. “One thing you can do for sure and certain is trust Gotte to take care of our Stella. She may need our help, and we’ll keep searching, but we’ll also pray and hope and believe.”

  Several of the men grunted in agreement. Luke scowled at Brian, though to be fair his ire might not have been directed solely at the schoolteacher. The man rarely smiled, and certainly they were in the midst of a serious situation. Brian didn’t take it personally until Luke spoke in a low voice to the man next to him, nodding briefly at Brian as he did so.

  “Is there something you’d like to add to the discussion, Luke?” Brian stood, careful to keep his hands loose at his side. He didn’t want to appear aggressive in any way. It seemed that everyone was watching him closely.

  “Nein. It’s only that you were the last one to see the girl.”

  “And?”

  “And maybe we should be searching at your place.”

  Anger exploded so quickly in Brian that he took a step backward. He blinked twice, his hands clenched now at his sides. Joseph stepped forward before he could respond.

  “Brian has done a fine job teaching the children, but it’s not his responsibility to watch them once they leave this building.”

  “Are w
e sure she did? Leave this building?” Luke slapped his hand against a desk. “How do we know something didn’t happen to her here?”

  “Because I left after she did, and I would have seen anything that happened.” Brian pushed down his temper, telling himself it was normal for Luke to suspect him—he was, after all, fairly new to the community, and the man had never been an ardent supporter of his conversion. “I give you my word that she was fine when she left this afternoon.”

  “Your word is good enough for us, Brian.” This from Moses Miller, a father of three young children.

  The other men nodded in agreement, and Luke shrugged as if it made no difference to him. They decided to retrace the route Stella would have taken home from school. Her parents, Daniel and Margaret, had already done that early in the evening, but there was always a chance they had missed something.

  The rest of the evening and the next day passed by in a blur. Neither Brian nor Katie had managed to catch any sleep, and they were both struggling to make it through the school day. The students were somewhat subdued as well, no doubt due to Stella’s empty seat.

  The classroom finally emptied out for the day. Brian and Katie began straightening desks and packing up their grading for the weekend. Neither had spoken much about Stella’s empty place. Brian felt numb, as if the missing girl had no connection to the everyday reality of their life—as if it were a terrible dream he would awaken from soon.

  Katie turned abruptly toward the door of the schoolhouse and pulled in a deep breath. Brian saw the familiar silhouette of Bishop Levi. As the man stepped into the classroom, Brian realized he wasn’t alone. Standing beside him was Stewart Bynum, a sheriff on Cody’s Creek police force.

  ELEVEN

  Officer Bynum was of medium height and a stocky build. His distinguishing feature was a full mustache peppered with gray and a large black Stetson hat. At the moment he was holding the hat in his hand and waiting for the bishop to finish talking. As he waited, he studied Brian.